Author: Dragonfly Partners
Self Management
When people act in ways that DON’T MAKE SENSE or CREATE PROBLEMS (for you, themselves or others):
WHAT HAPPENS FOR YOU?
What do you FEEL?
What do you THINK?
What do you DO?
We can prepare ourselves for a DIFFICULT PERSON.
Or we can prepare ourselves for a DIFFICULT CONVERSATION.
When we are emotionally triggered, we may get heated, reactive, provoked, feel some kind of way…… angry, hurt, frustrated, sad, hopeless...
We have a CHOICE in how to respond…
LISTEN
︎︎︎
FORM AN OPINION
︎︎︎
CHOICE POINT
︎︎︎︎︎︎
OPTION A
- DEFEND OUR OPINION
- Resist theirs
- Look for Evidence to support our Opinion
- Discount Evidenceto the contrary
OPTION B
- SUSPEND OUR OPINION
- Listen actively
- Look with curiosity for new insight, information or awareness
- Stay open to being changed
︎︎︎
CAN LEAD TO
︎ Feeling justified or self-righteous
︎ Being judgmental
︎ Blaming the other person
︎ Holding onto anger, resentment, mistrust
︎ “Self-fulfilling prophecy” – person will act the way we expect
︎ Difficulty thinking clearly
︎ Inability to listen
︎ Difficulty in being open to believing or trusting the other person
︎ Being judgmental
︎ Blaming the other person
︎ Holding onto anger, resentment, mistrust
︎ “Self-fulfilling prophecy” – person will act the way we expect
︎ Difficulty thinking clearly
︎ Inability to listen
︎ Difficulty in being open to believing or trusting the other person
︎ Feeling cautious but open
︎ Being non-judgmental
︎ Being compassionate toward the other person
︎ Letting go of preconceptions, anger and mistrust
︎ Person is more likely to be open to new thinking and insights
︎ Strong feeling may be diffused
︎ Ability to think and problem-solve together
︎ Being non-judgmental
︎ Being compassionate toward the other person
︎ Letting go of preconceptions, anger and mistrust
︎ Person is more likely to be open to new thinking and insights
︎ Strong feeling may be diffused
︎ Ability to think and problem-solve together